UNCLE!

Some women PMS.  I ovulate.  ARGGGGH!!!!!

OK, sorry.  Is that TMI?

Well, here goes.  Women talk about cramps, but mine are minimal. Ovulatory pain, on the other hand, can have me bending over and crying out in agony.

And the mood swings associated with “that time of the month?”  For me, nothing compared to the anxiety attacks and uptightness I experience at my version of “that time of the month” – ovulation.

I’ve learned to keep it under control by using a bio-identical progesterone cream which puts an end to any number of awful “female things”.  But I’m out, and I’ve been out for over a month, and apparently two cycles without my Prolief is a REALLY BAD IDEA.

Ray’s gone golfing, the Dude had a melt down this afternoon, which put me sideways for quite a while, and just as I was beginning to recover, bedtime rolled around, complete with baths and showers.  The Dude, exhibiting lingering after-effects of the meltdown, was failing to do ANYTHING I asked/told him to do, which had me on edge.  When Boo begged for a book at bed time I caved, even though it was nine thirty, which would have been fine except that then she wanted to “read” it, which led Bear to want to “read” it too, which meant that first I read the words, then Bear repeated them, then Boo repeated them, and then the Dude and Bonita commented on some aspect of the book, threw a ball across the room, asked why a ring was in Boo’s bed, or turned on some crazy psycho babbling stuffed animal toy that Boo got for Christmas which I swear must be possessed by demons.  WHY DIDN’T I TORCH THAT THING MONTHS AGO????!!!!!

[Deep sucking breath]

OK, OK.  I know!  This is just standard mommy stuff.  But somehow during that time of the month, it becomes totally overwhelming and I can barely breathe and I can feel the adrenaline running through my veins. I know that I ought to just drop to my knees and pray a Rosary, but my perverse mind would rather just sit around and stew about it all.

Note to self:  Buy progesterone cream.

[Deep calming breath]  OK, I feel a little better.

3 comments on “UNCLE!
  1. Dana Lashley says:

    I hear ya! I don’t normally know exactly when I ovulate, but my PMS this last time was UNREAL!!! I was tired, cried at everything, had morning sickness, my boobs were heavier, and hurt…we really thought I was pregnant…until it became quite apparent that I wasn’t. My mom tried to cheer me up by telling me that some women do that every month. I would need a padded room!

  2. Cara says:

    My oldest gem said these lovely words to me this week, when I asked to her to put some clothes away in the little one’s room “what, do you think, I’m your maid”. That went over well…….

    • stephanie says:

      Ah, yes. I’ve heard those words (or similar, at least) before! I love the “you make us do everything around here!” lament after they’ve spent the day playing and I tell them to do some minor task!

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