Tuesday three weeks ago, we were snowed in and the adoration chapel was closed, leaving me to do my Tuesday scripture and prayer time in the cozy chair in the loft. Seemingly on a whim, I decided to switch things up. Rather than reading the daily Mass readings, and perhaps Morning Prayer from the Divine Office, I decided to read the Office of Readings.
It wasn’t long before I realized that this wasn’t just me randomly deciding to do things a bit differently. This was a prompting by the Holy Spirit to read words that I needed to read.
The first antiphon:
“Surrender to God, and he will do everything for you.”
That word stood out like a beacon to me. I let it play over and over again in my head, and with each iteration, I felt an overwhelming peace and calm.
Once I finally moved on from the antiphon, Psalm 37 spoke volumes to me.
“If you trust in the Lord and do good,
then you will live in the land and be secure.
If you find your delight in the Lord,
he will grant you your heart’s desire.”
“Trust in the Lord.” Surrender myself to him. Surrender my need for control. Surrender my need for things to go my way, how I think they ought to go. Surrender my desire to be pleasing to the world.
Really, the list of things I need to surrender is endless, because I need to surrender it all to Him.
“Commit your life to the Lord,
trust in him and he will act,
so that your justice breaks forth like the light,
your cause like the noon-day sun.”
For so long, I’ve prayed, “Lord, make me yours. Let me die to myself and live only for you.”
Surrender. I must, in order to allow God to answer that prayer.
In that time, Tuesday morning three weeks ago, I knew that I had my One Word for 2014 wrong.
Not that intention is a bad One Word, it’s just not the One Word for me this year.
I’m actually going to keep it as a secondary word, which is totally against the whole concept of One Word, but I like to break the rules. I do believe that I am being called to intention as well, since living with intention will be instrumental in my surrender.
Surrender took on a new meaning last week, as we mourned the loss of our friend and I strove to have the grace to be a constant loving and supportive presence for Ray as he grieved. That’s a post for another day, but suffice to say that intention would not have helped me through that in any meaningful way.
Three weeks in, my new “One Word” has been an unimaginable blessing, and has already brought me to new heights in my relationship with Christ.
“Surrender yourself to God, and he will do everything for you.”
Take, O Lord, and receive
my entire liberty, my memory, my understanding and my whole will.
All that I am and all that I possess You have given me:
I surrender it all to You to be disposed of according to Your will.
Give me only Your love and Your grace;
with these I will be rich enough, and will desire nothing more. Amen.
-Prayer of St. Ignatius of Loyola
(Thanks, Maria, for sharing that prayer. Love it!)